Week 3 & 4 ORC: Window Seat DI•trY part 1

Week 3 and 4: One Room Challenge

This weeks’ One Room Challenge tasks included continuing to repurpose items already in my possession (i.e garage shelving 2x4s); learning a couple of new tools (shop for them HERE); and building a base for my window seat.

Since the price of lumber has just about doubled, I decided my 2x4s, initially serving as shelving in the garage, could be connector pieces for the window seat. For this project, I’ve mainly purchased nails and 2 additional 2x4s that were about 4 inches longer than the ones I already had. The length of the window seat is approximately 100 inches long; my garage shelves were 96 inches.



This picture is the first shelf build, but the next will be far sturdier than this one. I’ll do an updated blog post linking the garage shelf build a little later, since I’m presently still building them. Gotta finish this #OneRoomChallenge!

#block-yui_3_17_2_1_1650831021257_8741 .sqs-gallery-block-grid .sqs-gallery-design-grid { margin-right: -20px; }
#block-yui_3_17_2_1_1650831021257_8741 .sqs-gallery-block-grid .sqs-gallery-design-grid-slide .margin-wrapper { margin-right: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; }


As for the window seat’s base/frame, I had to learn (and get over the intimidating factor) of quite a few new tools – Ryobi 18V ONE+ Multitool and Kreg pocket hole kit. Turns out both were easier to use than I thought. Essentially, I worked myself up about learning them for nothing! Can’t stand when I do silly things like that. Anywho, here’s

what I did…

to start this build:

  1. Cut 2x4s to fit space (if applicable)As previously mentioned, this seat is going to be 100 inches long and my repurposed studs from the garage shelves weren’t long enough.

  2. Individually measure and cut smaller 2×4 pieces to fit the ends Dr of the longer 2x4s. If you’re lucky, your walls aren’t wonki like mine. Essentially, you’ll be creating a long rectangle.

  3. Using my drill and wood screws (I used these) , I pre drilled holes onto my end caps. Afterwards, using my wood screws to attach each piece, the base was formed.


Here’s some advice I wish I did not gloss over when watching tons of YouTube videos. To build the top frame, dry fit it on the already built base. I didn’t do this with mine, but I sure wish I did! In like manner to the base, screw your pieces together.

Since I don’t want a simple blog post to become a novel, go on and measure then cut pieces to hold the top frame to the bottom. Basically, the middle pieces need to be attached between the top and bottom frames. These will be held in place by pocket holes made with the KREG JIG.

#block-yui_3_17_2_1_1650831021257_12563 .sqs-gallery-block-grid .sqs-gallery-design-grid { margin-right: -20px; }
#block-yui_3_17_2_1_1650831021257_12563 .sqs-gallery-block-grid .sqs-gallery-design-grid-slide .margin-wrapper { margin-right: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; }

Stick Around…

Stick around because we’ve still got more on this To Do list and only 4 weeks left to do it! Here’s a peak at what ‘s remaining:

  • Plywood for bench (going to learn how to use the circular saw)

  • Figure out storage

  • Top for vanity (still need to figure that out)

  • Painting

  • Pendant light (probably need to go on and purchase that!)

  • Build a shelf

Basically…I better get super busy and prep the coffee that I don’t actually drink (I mainly like the smell of it. Lol)

Until we meet again… Keep it genuine!

Ya girl, Kim!

Don’t forget to check out the featured designers and other guests ORC participants over at www.oneroomchallenge.com/orc-blog

Top 5 Tips from the One Room Challenge

Lessons Learned

Participating in the One Room Challenge was an excellent experience; I encourage any DIYer to take part. I’ve put together a few lessons I think would be useful in helping you make the decision to sign up. So, let’s get it!

#1

Procrastination is real… no matter how pumped you are for your project!

  • I’m more than sure this is one everyone knows; yet the reminder is still needed. My bathroom update took me about 4 months. You would think I learned how to lay tile in all that time. Nope‼️ I was living it up while my daughter visited her grandparents for the summer. Any, and just about all, spontaneous events were welcomed with open arms. This continued welcoming pushed the timeline lol. Whether you call it procrastinating or living life, there are controllable factors you’ll need to keep in mind. That brings me to the next lesson.

#2

Have a life outside your project

  • If you find yourself feeling mentally and/or physically drained, you may have project fatigue. Make time to relax and not think about the project. Even if it’s 30 minutes to an hour, give yourself mental and/or physical breaks. There’s nothing like being recharged so you can get back in the swing of things. Life is happening all around you -LIVE IT!

#3

Know when to ask for help

  • The struggle to remove the pre-existing faucet was more physically exhausting than anything. I tackled this; however, when I saw water coming from under the baseboards, that was mentally exhausting! I didn’t have the capacity to further trouble shoot what I already knew was a problem bigger than my YouTube University courses. I knew it was time to call in the professionals. I didn’t want to spend the money BUT having a professional give me peace of mind was worth the cost.

#4

Project Creep will mess up your zen

  • Try sitting in your project’s space, look around, and make note of everything you intend to do before getting started. This will give you a good idea of two things: (1) the resources (i.e. videos/blogs) you need to study for additional knowledge and (2) you may be able to determine what supplies will be needed. Trust me when I say, all the pretty things are great to have but focus on the must haves first or else you’ll risk getting off track. As much as I was ready to buy all things decor, I needed to have the right tools and more importantly – funds for the project.

#5

Have fun and Be okay with things not being perfect

  • Admittedly, there were moments when I got super frustrated during this project. For example, walls not being straight or as previously mentioned, getting that dang faucet off was NO FUN. Ohhhh and the epoxy escapade <insert eye roll>. Though I was quite irritated, I still was having fun. For those moments when it wasn’t fun, I walked away and recharged. Sometimes, the recharge!

Bonus

Double the budget! While I am sure it’s quite doable, I really thought this entire bathroom renovation was going to run me $500. Negativo. Wrong. Do not pass go; do not collect $200. See the Budget Bathroom or Budget Bust post for full spending details.

Had I followed rule #4, I might have had a better idea of how much I was going to spend on this bathroom’s supplies. Additionally, the biggest takeaway for me is to include money for incidentals. The biggest hit to the budget was needing a plumber for a sudden leak -not caused by me (just FYI). Nonetheless, there may be unforeseen events that can quickly add up.


Either from your own project(s) or based on watching others, what else would you add to the Lessons Learned log? Let me know in the comments. Until we meet again…Keep It Genuine!

Ya girl, Kim!

Go see what took place week to week for the One Room Challenge. Check em out through these links:

Week 6: One Room Challenge

Vanity Painting; Epoxy applying and things that go OH SHEET in the night!

We’ve reached Week 6 of the One Room Challenge and HOUTSON, we have a freakin’ problem! Before we get to the problem, let’s celebrate the wins.


First

…the vanity needed an update. It has been ten plus years since this vanity has had anything done to it beyond the builder’s grade wood stain; so I’m definitely excited to see this change. Also, let me add, my teenybopper (aka my daughter) has enthusiastically told me she cannot wait to get into her “new” bathroom because it’s looking good. If you’ve been exposed to teenager-itis [noun: teenagers who have an opinion on EVERYTHING -be it good or bad] then you know this is such a good news for me to hear! Okay, enough chatter; let’s get to work.


In my Instagram stories, I showed the liquid sander/deglosser I used to strip the vanity’s base. This stuff was way better than attempting to use my Ryobi Tools orbital sander. Don’t get me wrong, my cordless orbital sander came in handy to sand the larger surface area of the doors to the cabinet. It took some work using an 80 grit sanding paper, but the job got done! Nonetheless, the liquid sander helped for the hard to reach areas of the vanity’s base.


Jasco Easy Liquid Sander Deglosser found at Lowe’sJasco Easy Liquid Sander Deglosser found at Lowe’s

Jasco Easy Liquid Sander Deglosser found at Lowe’s

After sanding with my liquid sander/deglosser, I primed both the vanity’s base and cabinets with my Zinsser Bullseye 1-2-3 all surface primer. Here is where I suggest what not to do. Don’t “paint” with your primer; you mainly want light coverage. Unfortunately, this is a terrible habit I don’t foresee I’ll break anytime soon.


Now this baby is all primed and ready for painting. I used both an angled paint brush and a foam roller. The angled brush was primarily used to get in those hard to reach spots of the vanity’s base (i.e. the faux drawers and any other narrow spots the foam roller couldn’t reach). Meanwhile, the foam roller was used for all larger areas of the cabinet doors and sides of the vanity. I did a first coat that I let slightly dry before applying my next coat. I’ll still apply one final coat, but look at how good it looks so far!


Behr paint color Night ClubBehr paint color Night Club

Behr paint color Night Club

I wanted to avoid the appearance of brush strokes, which would have been caused if I caked Night Club on with several coats. On a side note, an added likable factor is that some of the wood’s pattern can still be seen.


F874C10C-C435-473E-9010-8AAD07793B60.jpegF874C10C-C435-473E-9010-8AAD07793B60.jpeg

Since I’ll be adding an epoxy countertop, I taped off the now painted portion of the vanity and will attach the doors after the epoxy application. So now, let’s briefly talk…

Epoxy

Although I haven’t attended the Haven Conference (yet), I’ve signed up for their emails and follow their social feed. In doing so, I came across a coupon for Total Boat epoxy and figured I would give it a try. Yayyy for a coupon! I’ve been nervous to do this and enrolled in many Youtube University classes to get an idea of how to epoxy an integrated backsplash countertop.


E942CFFE-5341-4953-923A-D3D32543D945.jpegE942CFFE-5341-4953-923A-D3D32543D945.jpeg

HOWEVER this epoxying is being pushed out to Week 7 because of what’s happening in the…

Now

….the Oh Sheeeeet moment!

Seems there’s water coming from my master bath tub over into the Guest/Teenybopper bathroom. It’s coming under the baseboard, onto the bathroom’s floor. The good part about this is I didn’t do that floor stencil I was initially planning to do. The not so good part is THERE’S WATER LEAKING FROM SOMEWHERE 😩 No pictures to provide because (1) it’s certainly not part of my One Room Challenge and (2) I don’t want the pictures to seal this memory.

I’m in the middle of doing my own troubleshooting. Ultimately, my final decision has been to seek out an expert and pray it isn’t worse than I think. We’ll meet again on Week 7!

Be sure to check out the other guest participants who are having better outcomes than I.

www.oneroomchallenge.com/orc-blog


Ya girl, Kim!

Week 4: One Room Challenge

Painting is my nemesis and I think the light fixture had it out for me too!

Let’s chat paint stripes

As a compromise to my daughter wanting a dragon mural on the wall, we agreed to stripes. However, those stripes didn’t agree to me! Actually, I went about applying the stripes all wrong. Take this as your guide in How Not to Apply Stripes On A Wall.

Step 1

Use painter’s tape correctly. Meaning… do not put the painter’s tape up and realize you want some pieces longer so you add a piece on top of the already hung piece and extend it out that way. Yes that was a run-on sentence but it had to be said without taking a breath for the impact! Just start over. Trust me when I say, “it’s better to waste the tape and start over than to mess up the paint job.”


46466D55-FDDA-42C5-B759-D08D631D372A.jpeg46466D55-FDDA-42C5-B759-D08D631D372A.jpeg

Step 2

I knew to paint my white base color over the stripes to prevent bleed through of the solid colored stripes. However, I got distracted and only did the base color. You know what that meant? When I finally painted those stripes, I had bleed through because the base (my white paint) was already dry. Instead, you should paint over your tape with your base color; allow to slightly dry, then proceed to paint your stripes.


It looked so good when I taped it!It looked so good when I taped it!

It looked so good when I taped it!


These lines could have most certainly been crispierThese lines could have most certainly been crispier

These lines could have most certainly been crispier

Step 3

Pull the painter’s tape off at a 45° angle. Your lines should come out far more crisp than mine. Le sigh… I’ve got to fix these stripes. But before I do that … there’s a new light fixture to hang.


Lights On

I purchased a light fixture from Amazon with the intentions of having someone else put it up. The more I saw what was required via YouTube University, the more I felt I could do it myself. Only one problem… ya girl not trying to electrocute herself!

I turned off ALL power sources – meaning the breaker box and the light switch in the bathroom. Was I still afraid? Sure was. You know I’m not going to fake the funk with ya. It wouldn’t be genuine of me if I did. Then I proceeded to dismantle the light fixture. Admittedly, the first go round of this was quite intimidating when I saw all those wires back there.


Previous builder’s grade light fixturePrevious builder’s grade light fixture

Previous builder’s grade light fixture

The old junction box was an interesting plot twist. It was not attached to a stud, which was also non-existent meaning no stud behind the wall at all. Additionally, the junction box was not flush with the circular cut out in the wall. This meant my new fixture’s base would not appropriately fit.


Notice how the junction box sits back in the wall instead of closer to the edges of the drywall’s circular cut outNotice how the junction box sits back in the wall instead of closer to the edges of the drywall’s circular cut out

Notice how the junction box sits back in the wall instead of closer to the edges of the drywall’s circular cut out


In my Insta stories I shared that I cringe at the thought of cracks and crevices. Guess what? I cringe more at the thought of placing my hand inside the wall; but I did it! <insert a mini dance party here!> The junction box was replaced with a nifty one that had flanges to open up behind the wall, allowing the box to sit flush with the wall and no stud needed!


We now have a fresh new junction box and the ability to proceed with hanging our new light fixture. Better light bulbs headed this way shortly!



Next Week’s Goals

Next week’s goals will be:

  • Addressing the stripes -have to figure out how to make this look better without it being one big solid block of color.

  • Start prepping the vanity to paint it

  • Hang mirror

  • Prep top of vanity for epoxy

A lot going on leading into Week 5 of the One Room Challenge. I’m hoping it all comes together; but in the meantime, here’s a link to the other guest participants: www.oneroomchallenge.com/orc-blog.

Week 1: One Room Challenge

A week spent sourcing and creating the mood…

The Goal: Complete this bathroom within the 8 weeks designated for the One Room Challenge with sponsor Better Homes and Gardens.

The Mission: Sourcing aka look for and purchase fixtures to include décor -making final design decisions.

Captain’s Log: Guesteen Bathroom Update: I’ve changed my mind a million and thirty times. Yes I know the saying is actually a million and one, but dag-gum-it I feel like it has been 29 more times than needed. Taking part in the one room challenge is going to help me get it done! I’m also hoping it helps me better identify how I need to structure my next DIY/Design projects. Remember, I’m new to all of this – approximately two (2) months new, as in just started DIYing towards the end of June.

Let me add that I am presently sharing my bathroom with my teenager. One would think that would be enough incentive to get this bathroom done. Right!? Keep in mind this bathroom is also the guest bath; however primary usage is for the teenybopper. Remember over the summer when I did that accent wall for her? She loved it but she stalked my IG stories to give her unsolicited feedback. All that to say, some elements have to receive teen approval. I could pull the “I’m the mom card”, but I like The Girl (aka my daughter/ teenybooper) to have a voice in some things. Check out our reel during the hunt for a bathroom mirror and you’ll see what I mean by her “input”. Now, let’s talk One Room Challenge.

Here’s a little of what I’m working with thus far:


Hooks and abstract lines…  this seems to be my vibeHooks and abstract lines…  this seems to be my vibe

Hooks and abstract lines… this seems to be my vibe

This cute abstract shower curtain I found was teen approved, thankfully because I didn’t get her say on it. The hooks are still up for debate. We’re going to bring some type of foliage into this windowless space; but first we’ve got to figure out what kind of plants we can keep alive. I’ve also fallen into deep like with lanterns. I spray painted this one and isn’t it cute! Not sure if it’s going to jive with everything else but for now, it’s a keeper. I’d like to also bring in some elements of artwork in this space. We’ll have to see what that flow looks like in our windowless, small space.


Lanterns, Hooks, and PlantsLanterns, Hooks, and Plants

Lanterns, Hooks, and Plants



Captain’s Log: Guesteen Bathroom ProjectCaptain’s Log: Guesteen Bathroom Project

Captain’s Log: Guesteen Bathroom Project

In my stories on Instagram, I’ve shared the fact that I am still exploring what my design style is. I feel like I am a modern minimalist with hints of eclectic. What do you think represents your design style? Though I’m slowly figuring it out, my main focus is FINISHING THIS BATHROOM! <That’s me screaming at myself>.


Continue to follow along with this project’s progress on Insta.

Keep track with me to see if I meet the budgeted plan for this project on the Budget Bathroom or Budget Bust post here.

You can also see other guest participants in the One Room Challenge on the ORC blog site: www.oneroomchallenge.com/orc-blog

A Season of Transition

Since I am such an early bird with most things, of course it’s only fitting that I have already begun thinking about my goals for 2017.  Don’t get me wrong, I most certainly DID NOT hit every goal and do every single thing I set out to do.  However, I did find that when I hit 2016 with a plan, I actually accomplished some things like paying off my car! Yay me! Nevertheless, I will admit, this was an extrinsic goal. As we are quickly approaching the holidays and the New Year, I have realized I have some internal goals -particularly as they pertain to my personal life. Taking a deep, intrinsic look at yourself can be tough.  However, if you truly want to accomplish a “soul detox”, you have got to get real with yourself.  And that’s what I am doing-getting real with the one I am with All Day, Every Day.  Me, Myself and I. Here are some things you may consider before you go off making lists and checking them twice…

Luggage: In the post “The Bitter Bag”, it is suggested if new wine is to be poured and kept, it must be poured and stored into new wineskin. Some of us are still holding on to last year’s disappointments with a tight, relentless grip. There are some who may be carrying more years than only the last one.  I liken this to a carry-on bag.  On your evolution flight, you have packed a carry –on with the same old foolishness.  Before you round out this 2016, I suggest you begin RIGHT NOW determining what you will faithfully release to God. Then, begin actually releasing it.  Go into 2017 knowing you’ve already begun the process of healing.

 Own Your Junk: Look at your contribution to situations. No more thoughts of “this would have never happened if s/he had or had not done xyz”.  Get real with yourself about your contribution ( or lack thereof) to what may just be a vicious cycle.  Then… DO SOMETHING positive about it.  Don’t keep rehashing the issue; start thinking of the solution and implementing it.

 Accept: Accept that all closure is not going to come exactly as you desire. You may not get that last conversation, that reason or that final hug and/or kiss good bye.  Some things we must accept and in all things we must trust God’s hand will move each piece where it belongs.  In this season of transition, we must learn to accept some things just as they are; not as we desire for them to be.

Good Running Shoes: As you transition in this season, I encourage you to RUN towards your goals, your hopes, your dreams, your destiny!

If you would like to join me in preparing for this season of transition, please comment and let me know at least one thing you will enter into 2017 knowing you have begun the process.

Sincerely,

Your Restyled Mom…who is claiming her season.

Level Up Friends

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of speaking with a friend who shared how God spoke to her. In her obedience to the Master, she was able to quit her job and become self-employed.  I am sure these types of testimonials are not rare; however, seldom do these things happen within my inner circle.

But wait….there’s more.

She went on to tell me how God’s abundance started flowing in once she quit her full time, well paying job.  This friend spoke of how she told God all about her student loan debt, debts in general, Financial Peace University and how this left her feeling uncertain about the decision to quit her job. Why am I bringing this uncertainty portion to your attention? It’s because you need to know that God loves when you detox and tell Him everything (I mean ereThang)…that’s like the super duper extent of everything! When she told God of her fear yet remained in him (John 15:5), He blessed her by having her student loan debt forgiven PLUS speaking engagement offers rolling in.  ALL IN THE SAME DAY!!!

So how does this relate to “Level Up Friends”?  Well I am glad you asked.

While I do believe in having friends from all walks of life, I strongly believe in having friends who build you up spiritually.  My friend did not know it at the time, but I was having a minor faith walk battle myself, and to hear her testimony reminded me of just how awesome GOD IS!  Not just his awesomeness but also how much he wants to bless our obedience and dependency in Him alone.

Level UP  friends will encourage you (sometimes unknowingly); will lovingly yet sternly call you out on your stuff; will have your back but won’t condone foolishness; will be your iron to sharpen you back up (Proverbs 27:17); will pray for and with you; will push you to never settle on complacency; will remind you to stop being a distraction to yourself; will always remind you there is NOTHING GOD CANNOT DO and keep praying for His will to be done and not your own.

Who ya with?! I encourage a lot of you to re-evaluate some of your friendships and determine whether these relationships are God ordained or sly distractions deterring you from the person who God truly desires for you to be.

I hope this message spoke to someone and you share it with your Level Up crew.

Sincerely,

Your Restyled Mom…whose #squadgoals have been met.  To God be the glory!

P.S. Guess who’s back 😉  More blog posts coming…

Trying to Come Back…

I’ve been missing in action for a few months now.  Being a full time working, single mom is a tough gig.  I prayed and specifically asked God for increase in my job and guess what?!  He increased me in my job!  Go figure.  However, I am not complaining, not one bit.

Now, I am returning to Restyled Mom with the hopes that I can find my balance.

As a matter of fact, I’ve been reading a great book – “Fervent” by Priscilla Shirer.  So here on this page, I share my specific prayer that God will allow me to graciously return to Restyled Mom with the Holy Spirit leading the charge.

Today, Restyled Mom community I pray the Holy Spirit to lead, guide, and intervene.  Today, I pray a prayer of right now.  Right now God will take the charge and open windows of blessings to your soul as you open yourself to Him and his leading.

Get specific in your prayers and while you are making your comeback, from wherever you are in this moment, know that you’re not alone.  I’m making mine too!

Sincerely,

A Restyled Mom…who is getting real specific and coming back.

The Most Wonderful Break Up You Need to Experience

break upI have a wonderful, fashionably aware friend, whom we will refer to as Melissa. Melissa is aware of all the latest trends in beauty and fashion.  She seems to know a little bit about a lot, and I adore her style sense.  Unfortunately, my friend is not money aware.  Actually, let’s put it like this, she does not seem to be money aware until the money is almost gone.  Melissa was laid off from a well-paying contract job as a project manager.  Within the one year of her contract, Melissa earned close to six figures.  However, and I think you know where this is leading, Melissa was not saving at her maximum potential.

So what is this maximum potential? For a single woman, with no kids, no rent/mortgage to pay (the parents were accommodating), Melissa should have been saving at least half of her income and living off the rest.  Notice I said at least.  If Melissa could have factored in her bills (i.e. student loan, car note) and lived off a budget, she probably could have saved more than half her earnings.  Wouldn’t it be awesome to have an emergency fund built with HALF your income?  Here’s where I get really real and sisterly with my good friend when I say…It’s time to break up.

Breaking up should not be hard to do when you’re broke or when you are trying to reach goals (no matter what your income level). Break up with the monthly beauty box, which ranges from $10-25 or more a month.  This equates to approximately $120-300 in savings for the year.  That $30/month gym membership, which truly is super modest, it is costing you $360/year.  Calculate just those two yearly totals and you get approximately $460 saved for the year.  How about putting that on the student loan, credit card and/or car payment?  Break Up…

If you are financially stuck, I strongly suggest you break up with some of your “stuff” you think you cannot live without. Break up with that gym membership, grab a resistance band from your local sporting goods store (usually about $5) and go online to find awesome workout plans.  Break up with that beauty box for a moment and apply those monthly payment as extra towards your debts.  Break up with that car if you must –downsizing may result in an upsize to your bank account!  I broke up with cable and opted for high-speed internet and streaming services.  This break up has allowed for an increase to debt reduction, as well as paid for the little ones extra curricular activities -without adding a strain on the budget.

I am not saying totally go cold turkey and have nothing, but I am saying begin investing in your financial future; invest in your debt freedom; invest in your financial legacy that will be passed to your kids.  Experience the Best Break Up Ever!

debt (money management international)

Picture: Money Management International

What are you willing to break up with? Share, share, share…let’s break up together!

Respectfully,

Your Restyled Mom…who is encouraging this break up

Downplay-itis…Effects & Cure…Because Love Awaits You

downplayitis

Within my circle, it has been discussed how men are intimidated by a strong woman who has herself together and sing Beyonce’ songs like “Who Run the World”. As the conversation looms on, I hear women with brains and beauty saying they will downplay their higher education and/or accomplishments (i.e. Master’s degrees, PhDs, CEOs, lead engineers, etc.)  I myself can say I am guilty of this awful disease; I will call Downplay-itis (an inflamed down play of yourself).  I have accomplished great things along life’s journey, but feel I must downplay myself so as to not be intimidating.

Here are the Top Side Effects and Cures for Downplay-itis AKA Downplaying Yourself:

  1. Side Effect: You are not offering your true self. You are constantly acting, rehearsing your lines and hoping to get it right. Cure: On a first date, maybe even a second date, don’t go into a whole resume submittal detailing all of your degrees and/or accomplishments. Though some dates are similar to an interview..the whole getting to know you thing, THIS IS NOT AN INTERVIEW! Yes. You are the bomb.com. But NO. Do not give it all away on the first date –intellectually or physically. While I am in no way saying be ashamed of all you’ve done, I am saying hit the highlights then allow your date to interject. If asked for further details, by all means expound and share. Allow it to all happen organically.
  2. Side Effect: Downplay-itis, while dating, will potentially carry over into your professional life as well. After an interview, how many times have you wished you would have mentioned all those great attributes you possess and accomplishments you have achieved? Well my friend, THIS IS THE TIME! Cure: Write out every magnificently awesome thing about yourself as well as the things you want to improve and/or achieve. Figure out which to offer up on a date and which are best for landing that job! Too much work? Well look at some of your past failed dates and past interviews then get back to me and tell me how it could have been better. Put in the time to knowing yourself better. This may be the very thing you need to lead you to your greatest opportunities to grow in various areas of your life. This is a great lead in for the third side effect.
  3. Side Effect: You stunt your own personal growth and you merely exist. For a butterfly to become the beautiful creature that is meant, it must go through stages (known as metamorphosis). Though there may be more for you to achieve, it may be hard to see the path to get there if you are downplaying the path you have already travelled for the sake of being “the right woman” for a gent. How can you go through the needed growth stages to become the woman you desire if you do not own the woman you presently are? Cure: Acknowledge and Accept that you are a woman of many accomplishments –some big, some not as big. Nevertheless, they are YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS! For me, I worked two jobs and paid for grad school out of my own pockets. So when and if the topic comes up…uhhh yeah!..I’m gonna enthusiastically tell you about that experience, but will always remain humble (Also see the first side effect).
  4. Side Effect: You miss out on your gifts. Don’t mistake the companionship of a significant other as the main gift. Downplay-itis will cause you to miss out on the gift of being inspiring to yourself and most importantly –inspiring to others! There is someone needing to hear and know what and how you have achieved all that you have thus far. However, when one suffers from Downplay-itis, this person’s achievements will either be viewed as trivial and/or not worth obtaining. In turn, an additional side effect will ensue, where an onlooker may become deterred from his/her own path of greatness. Cure: Be true to who you are. You never know whose watching and taking notes.

Let’s enter this “Love Month” (aka February) with the mantra “The gent in my presence will choose to either be proud or intimidated. It is not for me to choose his degree of comfort within himself so as to accept the comfort I have with myself.”

Sincerely,

Your Restyled Mom…who is applying The Cure